Consumed

1 12 2006

I love that word.  I find that it often applies to me.  Today its not in a good way.  I woke up to bad emails in my inbox.  I don’t know if you have ever gotten one of these, but they seem to be coming more often.  The emails that tell you that someone you knew has died.  So far it has only been vague acquaintances.  Today it held true too, but it broke my heart anyways.  Yes, it was another person I went to high school with, but this one was different.  This was my best friend’s first boyfriend ever.  The one who broke her heart and she never really has gotten over.  Instincts told me to call right then.  But the clock told me to wait.  So I waited.  Until morning for her.  She answered in her normal happy voice.  We joked around and I waited for her to bring it up.  She didn’t.  I asked how she was.  She didn’t understand.  I knew she hadn’t heard.  And I had to tell her.  I made my best friend cry today.  Its the worst thing in the world.

I keep seeing my son’s happy face and I can’t help but think of his mom.  And I hug Cale real tight (until he complains) and I’m so grateful for him.  I can’t even imagine the pain everyone is feeling right now.  I’m not sad for him, but for everyone else’s pain tonight.

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